HolidayMovies

The Baltimorons 2025, Duplass Brothers Productions, Directed by Jay Duplass (4 out of 5 Hot Chocolates)

Oh. What. Fun. Amazon 2025 (1.75 out of 5 Hot Chocolates)

Starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Dennis Leary, Felicity Jones, Dominic Sessa, Joan Chen, and Jason Schwartzman. Directed by Michael Showalter

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This movie is a holiday party eggnog left out to curdle. I imagine an Amazon exec dumping 1970s gender stereotypes, check-collecting stars, and meanness as 'satire' into the blender and thinking “Yum.” Gross.

Borrowing plot and themes from The Family Stone, Home Alone, and Planes, Trains & Automobiles, writer/director Michael Showalter doesn’t like the genre enough to craft a compelling family dramedy. It's slice-and-bake Christmas cookies sold as “from scratch.”

Every year, streamers throw money and stars at the Christmas TV movie template, attempting to legitimize something that doesn’t need it. A holiday message: More isn’t always better.

Skip it

OhWhatFun

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Merry Christmas, Ted Cooper Hallmark, 2025 (4 out of 5 Hot Chocolates)

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The season’s first banger. Atypical male lead, fresh story beats, and riffing on zany Anchorman-style comedies. The romance is a Christmas Ale buzz. You root for leads Ted and Hope.

Supporting cast matters in holiday movies. From Ted’s high-strung sibling to the Sole Sisters, an a-hole newsman nemesis, and Hope’s straight-talkin' coworker, this movie has a fruitcake of an ensemble.

The plot had a third-act problem with an asinine Three’s Company miscommunication “conflict.” Hope is unnecessarily mean, as she delivers a brutal, undeserved Ted takedown. Justice for Ted! But the hot, handsy, elongated on-camera make-out scene saved Christmas. Watch it.

Ted

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An Alpine Holiday, Hallmark Channel 2025 (2.5/5 Hot Chocolates)

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Two aspects differentiate An Alpine Holiday: authentic French Alps sets (no fake snow!) and a story that focuses more on sibling relationships than romantic entanglements.

A last wish sends two sisters on a quest to retrace their grandparents' alpine love story. Ashley Williams, a Christmas movie regular with quirky comic timing, plays one of the sisters. Their tension drives the plot, each carrying a sleigh full of grievances and regrets to unwrap.

The rest? Weak romance cider. One gets a limp French tour guide, and Williams has a nonsensical marriage epiphany about her dweeb back home.

Only for Hallmark Heads.

An Alpine Holiday

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A Merry Little Ex-Mas, Netflix 2025

3.5/5 Hot Chocolates

So begins Larry's 100 Holiday Movie Season! My family and I have been studying the genre for a decade, and for the past five years, I have been reviewing them on my Instagram. I am now applying the Drable/100 Word review format and cataloging them here. But don't worry, Instagram Fam, I will still post them there to preserve this cherished tradition.

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Notable Stars: Alicia Silverstone, Jameela Jamil, and Melissa Joan Hart. Silverstone, Hart produced for Mellisa Joan’s Mom’s Heartbreak Films production company.

Alicia Silverstone joins the Christmas Movie industrial complex.

Consciously uncoupling Silverstone and Oliver Hudson attempt to maintain post-breakup holiday normalcy with their young adult children, new paramours, friends, and Granddads. Awkward festive gatherings, hurt feelings, and rekindled emotions ensue.

After years of trying, Netflix got its version of the Hallmark Christmas RomCom right, mimicking the look/feel with a few meta inside jokes while tweaking the Young Professional Female Gets Stuck In Wintertown trope.

Middle-aged “what now” angst and Silverstone's puppy-dog eyes ground the plot, and the writing sprinkles the story with core genre elements: humor, empathy, warmth, and baking.

Stream it.

A Merry Little Ex-Mas

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